Behcet's Disease/Christian Walk

It started off with me waking up with that all too familar throbbing on the right side of my head. It was 2am, I get up take some medication and go back to bed and prayed for sleep.  I did finially dose off because I remember silently shrieking when the alarm went off.  I quietly get up I didn't want to wake up the husband as he worked late yesterday,  and prayed that the hot blast of the shower beaning down on my head would help relieve the pain. It didn't!  I took non asprin pain relivers with my morning meds.  I would go to work pretend all is great, go home at lunch take more pain reliever, and lay down with the heating pad and maybe nap for 5 or ten mins.  Rush back to work and when I finially was home at night I would take the migraine medication and again pray for relief.  

This would be a daily routine for about 8 days before I couldn't take it anymore
 and called my doctor and said this wasn't working.  So I took sometime off work
to go to the doctors office and of course my doctor was out of town,
 and I had to explaine to the doctor who saw me what Behcet's Disease is and what is like for me.
He prescribed the steriod pack for me. It is a pack of steriods taken for six days the first day you take 6 steriod pills and quickly taper off the drug. 

Little did I know that this was just a sign my Behcet's was in full action.  I always have an ulceration somewhere, my joints get stiff when it is cold no biggy. Normal life for me. I tend to ignore the little things the many bruises, small scratches that turn into painful sores, and night fevers.  My doctor bless his heart knows that I will ignore the small stuff.  So what if I had a migraine for two weeks and then all this other stuff crops up, I don't have a normal life.  But I intend and try to live it to the fullest I know how.

So yesterday I woke up with that all too familar pounding in my head again. Not to bummed about it becasue I knew I had a routine 8 week scheduled doctors appointment. At the appointment the doctor walks in the room and says you look terrible why didn't you come in sooner?   I said because I knew this appointment was near and I didn't want to be a nuisance since I had just been there a week or so ago. He asked me how bad my headache was today and then said never mind it has to be bad just looking at you then
He just shook his had and clucked his tongue.  As if to say you are very stuborn.

No not stuborn not really.
I just don't want to waste vaction time on this disease,
 I don't like missing work and pay to go see him so he can tell me what I already know.

He asked me a few questions and told me that he was putting me back on prednisone short term to try and kill my over active immune system. He gave me the why did you wait 8 days to call w
hen I had the migraine and I should of called when things were obviously getting worse
and not better even if the headache was mostly gone.  Blah ...Blah... Blah ....
Nothing  I haven't heard before.

He does the routine blood draw and orders other tests to be done to see how active the Behcet's really is. Tells me to go to the pharmacy and get the prednisone today and then go home and rest!

Ahhh Prednisone the steriod drug that most people with an auto immune disease hates. 
The side effects for me are:
 nausea, extreme moodyness, the jitters, the moon face, the never ending hunger and the ever lovely fast weight gain, that doesn't come off after you stop taking the drug.

But this is one of the only drugs with anti imflamitory properties I can take since my body reacts badly to Aprin, Mortrin and every other NSAID on the market. It also works the best during a flair.
 I am tired, my headache is back, and I am extremely moody. Happy, sad, extremely angry, all in a 1 min segment.Wow where did that just come from extrem emotional roller coaster.

So now I am dealling with the jitters and gritting my teeth at this angry feeling. But to be honest this could of been avoided had I just gone to the doctors sooner when the skin issues started a month ago. The first sign that my Behcet's is active again.

The I get that ahhhhhhaaaaaa moment with the light builb going off when you finially get something. Usually for me it was a joke told to me three days ago but this one is more deep.

How many times do we ignore God's quite voice?  You know He is telling me something yet I choose to ignore it. Shurg it off because it is no big deal. OR I know He is asking me to do something and I rationalize it or make up exscuses not to do what He wants.  Today it hit me I treat and deal with my Christian Walk like I treat and deal with my Disease. Then complain, whine and throw a fit because
my life isn't what I had hoped for.

I take my medications/read my bible daily.
But do I do other things like eat right/ apply what God is asking of me and do them correctly?
Do I see the signs and then act on them nope I ignore them in most areas of my life.
Disease
-The begining:
 Ulcerations or skin rash appears
 Action: shrugg it off for just one of those things that just happen.

Christian Walk
The Begining
The small quiet voice speaks to me.
Action:
Ignore it or shrugg it off as just a passing thought

The next stage
Disease:
Things are spreading a little and are a little more irritable to handle
Action:
Home remidies I can Handle this on my own. it will go away.

Christian Walk
God word speaks to me what that small quiet voice said.
Action:
Argue with God and tell Him I have things undercontrol

Disease:
Scars and more sores, joints, and digestive system complaining loudly.
Action:
More Home medication, Self Help and cut back on some things.

Christian Walk:
Life isn't going according to my plans things are rocky and out of place and God isn't as near anymore
Action:
Self help and Home remidies after all I can fix this.

Disease:
Out of control Multi system melt down, no energy, nothing left
Action:
Breakdown and call the doctor and complain because the treatment course is worse then it should of been.
I submit, and let the doctor take over the care.

Christian Walk:
Lonely, Life out of Control, Rock Bottom afraid.
Action:
On my knees breakdown, and cry why God why me. Fix this now.
What you want me to do what?  Oooohhhh ok I break down
I submit to God's will.

Disease
Slowly gets better
Christian Walk
Slowly gets better

Remission is achieved I can handle things on my own.  Again the cycle begins.

Either my Disease or my Christian walk is out of sink. I like being in control of things. they both can be  out of sink at the sametime or at differnt times when I give up control.

Lord help me break this cycle.  Help me see the signs in my life and act accordingly before things are totally out of control and I have to give up out of shear exhaustion.  This is not how you planed our life or our walks with you!  Guide me to a healthier approach to my Christian walk and physically well being. Help me to listen better and recieve the information correctly.  - Amen


Prayerfully Your Sister
Debbi

Another Season Change

The kids are back in school.  Lil Larry (20yrs old) is going to be going to the community college for Firefighting/Emt basics training. He will continue to volunteer with the the fire department here.

(Brandie took these pictures a year ago!)

My daughter Brandie (17 soon to be 18) is a senior and is taking college courses already. When she graduates she wants to go to Kanasas to College.  Kanasas!!! Do you know how far that is from Oregon?  From ME??? UUUUUGHHH I can hardly stand the thought.

(I took these 09/06/10)

Then there is John Curtis (16yrs old) (my youngest) who is a sophmore this year. Already he is talking about becoming a firefighter/Emt or a Cop just like his older brother or his dad. 

(Photo taken By me 09/06/10)

(My Husband took this picture at the Ice Caves near Bend Oregon a week before the above shots)

OK Lord, I never said I wanted my babies to run into a burning building or carrying a loaded gun!  Although I am very proud of  my family and their willingness to serve. Couldn't the boys (my boys) serve in a less dangerous way?! And there are plently of colleges Christian colleges even here in Oregon close to home for my daughter to attend.  Yes this is very selfish on my part.

I have to remind myself that my kids are on loan to me only for the time God wants me to have them. They are His first and mine second. I have to let go and let God work in their lives now. Am I ready NOO!!!!!!!-----Will I ever be ready to totally let go probibly not. 

I got attached to my kids.

As parents we will all have to face the fact our kids our growing up.  I am glad I have the Lord to lean on.  I know He understands. I am glad my kids have the knowlege of the Lord and now they need to deside on how they are going to live their lives. 
 Are they going to serve God or themself?

  As a parent I have prayed since the day they were born that they will follow Gods word & except Jesus as their savior. I prayed that their heartaches are not as hurtful as mine were and that they have a healthier understanding of
Gods love then I did during my teen, young adult years.
That they would be on more solid ground in Christian lives at this stage. 
 I prayed for the future spouses and for the kids they may or may not have. 

God has been faithful and so far most of these prayers have been answered.  So i will continue to pray for their Christian walks to grow and flourish, I will continue to pray for their future hopefully Believing Spouses and my future grandkids!

I will Remind myself over and over again that the kids were only mine temporary that they are ultimately God's childern and I will learn to let go and let God finish His work in them.


Prayerfully Your Sister in Christ

Debbi

NOW

THEN!!!!!!!!!

when they were young dancers!

The Three Kids at Grandpa Browns (Crooked River Ranch Oregon)!

I have some practicing to do but some of my pictures turned out amazing I think.  I was at the Jefferson CO. Fair 07/21/10 and took the above pictures.

Below these were taken on 07/20/10

I got bored the other night I was home alone so I grabbed my camera and went for a drive and I caught this fellow in mid flight

As you can see my rose garden is blooming wonderfully. 

Since I started the drug Methotrexate 6 months ago I have slowed down a lot.  I have noticed that when you drive fast all the time you miss out on alot of things like the hawk above. 
 Slowing down is drawing me closer to God and His Plans.

God is amazing and the things he has created just amazes me why anyone would doubt His exisistance.

When I was a teenager I loved farm life.  Ok so I didn't have to muck out the barns or buck hay every other day.
I just had rabbits to water and feed. 

 I did get to walk the fields and find a spot to sit & write or read my bible searching for the "why my life" but mostly reading a good book. Getting lost in some sappy romance novel wishing my life was differnt.  

I wish I had a digi camera then because I would of taken a lot of
 meaningless pictures of nature that wouldn't mean anything to anyone but Gods handi work to me.

Some crazy random thing I thought about doing is I want to go out in some farmers field by an irrigation canal (no streams near by) and sit with my camera  listen to the rushing water and snap random pictures hoping to catch what ever creature happens to pop out of the wood work.

Ok so that isn't going to happen.  I would probibly get shot by the farmer or stumble accross bee or worse a snake!

So for now I will just go on random car rides with my radio cranked on KLOVE, with my camera and snap random pictures and enjoy what I can from the safety of a public road and my vehicle LOL!  
 Fear can keep us from alot of things. 

 But I am slowly getting past those fears just look at this pretty flower out on the high desert. 

 For me to be out randomly driving by myself is a very rare thing. I usually have my kids or hubby with me, and for me to leave my vehicle doesn't happen normally but this flower was beautiful and I wanted the picture!

I actually stopped the vehicle get out in 90 degree weather, walked across the gravel road by myself LOL (not too far from where hubby found bull snakes a few weeks back when we went for a drive with the dogs.) 

I Climbed up a small embankment (yes in a skirt and flats) and gingerly
walked up to the flower,  looking for snakes, just to snap this photo.  

Just this one lonely purple flower out in the middle of sage brush.  
I quickly snapped my picture and ran back to my vehicle
and turned the a/c full blast. 

 I don't do heat or snakes!  It is actually quite funny.  The things that make us afraid stop us from all sorts of beautiful things.

Fear isn't from God. It came out of the deception of the serpant in the garden of Edan.  Fear came from the fruit of knowlege.  If we just place our fears in Gods hands just think of the beauty He can show us. 

Father in Heaven, take our fears and open our eyes to Your Beauty.

Prayerfully Your Sister
Debbi

It has been a while so here is some pictures I have taken with my Nikon D5000

Baby Sea Lions - Depot Bay Oregon June 2010

The pictures above were taken at the Oregon Coast. The Critters were at Depot Bay and the Rocks on the beach was in Lincoln City just outside our motel room.  God is good and His Handy work is everywhere!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For Months we couldn't figure out what we had growing in our garden. This week God reveled the seeds that were sown. 

There is more story to this pumpkin patch then meets the eye.

My daughter and a friend of hers was out back one October 2009 evening carving pumpkins. They had thrown some seeds in the garden unbeknown to us adults.  While carving my daughters hand got stabbed with a knife from the top to bottom it went clear thru her hand.  We rushed her to the ER and her poor friend was just over taken with worry and sorrow.  This was clearly an accident and I felt bad for both girls at this point.  My daughter was a total drama queen that night, and yes she was hurt but some of the things she said was later so funny to all of us.  Her hand has healed and she has a "cool" little scar to show off. No lingering effects just a lot of inner circle jokes.

We had forgotten all about the "pumpkin incident"  and didn't think about the pumpkin mess in the back yard till we started getting these plants this spring after we tilled the garden and laid tarps down to keep the weeds from growing. For months we thought it was left over yellow summer squash from last year.  This week we saw the true roots of the seeds that were sown.  This pumpkin patch grew out of terrible situation that has turned into many laughs.

  And now we get to laugh some more.  I will be sharing more pumpkin pictures as the summer grows on. 

This is my car on July 5th 2010.  One of my kids drove it into the back of someone elses car. Nobody was hurt and for that we are thankful!   My car will be fixed and soon I will laugh about this too!  God is faithful to see to all of our needs. He is control in the good times and the not so good times. He sees us through and gives us memories to laugh, cry, or just say Ahhhhhh I get it now!

Have a blessed Summer!

Debbi

Panoramic View above Haystack Res 06/07/10

Haystack Res at Sunset on 06/07/10 Mt. Jefferson in the back I believe. 


I go towards Haystack Res because there is a pair of Bald Eagles that hang out there! They were around last night just not close enough for my camera's zoom.   The eagles have been around for a couple of years and out fish me everytime.




I take these pictures with a Fuji sure shot  portable camera.  My dream camera for right now is a Nikon D90 soon I will be able to get great pictures of the Bald Eagles.

Wild Flowers and baby calf and it's mom we spotted on the way to the lake.

I love God's creations!

Debbi

WRITTEN BY A 15 yr. Old SCHOOL KID IN ARIZONA : New Pledge of Allegiance ?(TOTALLY AWESOME)!


Since the Pledge of Allegiance

and The Lord's Prayer

Are not allowed in most

Public schools anymore



Because the word 'God' is mentioned.....
A kid in Arizona wrote the attached







NEW School prayer:



Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene..
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.


For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all..
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.


We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks...
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong...


We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles..
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen



If you aren't ashamed to do this, Please pass this on.
Jesus said, 'If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed
of you before my Father.'

Not ashamed. Pass this on.





I

Beautiful Dream

I had this beautiful dream.  It was a buisness meeting at a church.   We were in a balcony where a choir would sit and we were discussing budget, computer stuff.  There were some folks there I knew from the church I attend in real life but most of the people I didn't know. There were folks there for memebership into the church. These folks I would probibly never associate after church with just because of the way they were dressed and cut their hair and because of their peircings. 

This lady stood up and gave her testimony.  I was moved to tears. She quoted beautiful scriptures and then her husband gave his tesimony.  This buisness meeting turned into a worship service and I was moved.  We sang modern songs that were straight out of the KJV.  It was beautiful and so peaceful.  And for the first time in a long time lifted my hands to the heavens to worship my God and King.  I didn't have to think about it I just did!


This dream ended all to soon.  But left a very real image in my heart.   How many times do we judge someone for the way the look?  Their hair cut, the percings in the face, the tatoos.  How often do we listen to their words. To their hearts.
How often do we attend a church board meeting and break out into worship?
 To truelly listen to God and to honor him and his works???


Psalm 100 


Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his [a] ; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

 
I hope you all have a very blessed day today!
 
 
 
Debbi