November 26, 2012

Photography and Gods Plans for me?

I did it again I blogged a post and poof it was gone.  Thats ok it was wordy and long.
so I will try and keep this one short an save it as I go along.

Pastor Ron Mulkey on Sunday preached on John the Baptist. John new who was, who he wasn't and who Jesus is and how he (John) was to make Jesus known to those around.

Me I don't have clue who I am, who I am suppose to be or how to be a light for Christ. I am flawed and a sinner and have done many things I regret and wish to change but can't.

So I started with a prayer God show me who I am in your eyes.
 I have prayed this long before the sermon on Sunday.

He showed me a passion for taking pictures. Since I can remember I snapped photo's of this or that I have rolls of film in a cubboard I need to get developed if that is even possible these days.

I love photography and have thought about starting up a business and taking on clients charging for what I love to do. I set up several online accounts for printing options thru pro sites.
 I have taken online classes and even did a mentor class with a local pro and learned more things. And got more tools to use for my passion of taken pictures.

I have done portraits for community events, family members,
and friends, it would be so easy to set up shop
 but I am not that confident in my skills.

Yes it would be awesome to be a professional photographer. 
Father is that your plan for me?

Labels from teachers family and peers like
" You will never amount to anything"
"Your not good enough!"
"Your too stupid to be a photographer!"
"Any one can take a picture and your just nobody special."
"You're a Nobody!"

  The words haunt me daily the hold me back
they cloud my judgement
and I fall prey to the words and
 try prove they are wrong.

Lord I know this isn't what you have planned for me.
Take these words and make them go away!

OH but the pride I felt when I got the compliment from a pictures with my name.
That ego boost from the job well done.
Your a natural! AWESOME picture.

Then the guilt you know the feeling when God speaks to you
and shows you you are off the target and you have done wrong;
The guilt because of the wrong way I approached
 a person a year or so ago and the awful selfish way I acted
towards my pictures. 
The haunting of the labels of the past and that tape
 I play over and over in my head of things i did wrong
and should of done.
The idea of quiting, giving up
the fear of offending someone
or that I already did offend someone
and not forgiving myself for the action even though
I asked for forgiveness thousands of time. 

Father God I need YOU show me Your Plan! 
 Not my plan not the worlds plan
but Father What is Your Plan? 

My greatest joy in taking pictures is seeing God in them. 
It could be a horse jumping the fence, the snowy mountain,
my nieces love for her fiance, the smile on the little boy,
  I see God in every picture I take.
Thats what I want people to see from my work.

No longer do I put my name on the front of the picture
 (some call it it a water mark).
 I was selfish in putting it there in the first place.
 It wasn't so people wouldn't steal my photo as
 I professed so many times but it was so people
saw it was me who took the picture,
to get that compliment to gain recognition.
Even though I never asked for money my heart
 wasn't in the right place.
Yet somehow God shines thru in each picture.

I am a person who takes pictures because
 I like taking pictures.
 I don't use photoshop it is to complicated for me
 or so I have been told never used that program,
but I do edit my pictures.
I adjust the contrast the brightness or darkness.
 I sharpen or soften.
 I don't add objects or take away things but inhance
what is already there.
 I put boarders and change from color to black and white
or use presettings but my pictures are kept as real as possible.
 My creations are all things that God has created
I just want to provide another view and memory for people.
 To show them all things GOD.

 I want to capture the smile, the jump,
 the kiss, the moment, the new family,
 the loss, the emotions of the newly wed
or the family left to remember a loved one,
 capture the emotions God gave us.
 I want to capture and give it to people for their memory.
 I know what it is like not to have the money
for the memory and I feel
as if God is calling me to give not receive.

 I asked God how I could make a difference.
 I don't have the complete answers yet.
I do know that I dont have to be the person of the labels above.

I can take and give pictures to people.

I am a child of the KING of Kings!

I want to give back not get even or make a buck. I want to be a
John the Baptist a person showing who Jesus is to the world
 and giving God the credit.

Lord is this how you see me to be?

God created me.
 God gave me the Camera,
God gave me the tools to learn how to get the picture
 and God gave me the heart to want to share and care.
I take pictures they are a tool to God's kingdom.
A door to show the folks God's perfect plan.

The pictures I take are not my pictures but HIS.

This I undestand.... how He wants me to use this I don't know.
 So for now I will continue to share my pictures in the ways He gives me to share.
 I will continue to take pictures post them and pray people see God in them.
I will continue to be human and make mistakes. I will continue to lean on Him.

Thank You Father for the Joy of taking pictures.
Your creations are Breath taking! Amen

1 comment:

  1. Debi, I have enjoyed your pictures for a long time. I have the same thoughts as you have written. I just never wrote them. Thank you for sharing! gordon