March 22, 2022

Tiger Warning: Child Abuse 

The reason I didn't post this over a year ago is because I wanted to pray on it and add more scriptures that brought me meaning. And mostly because I was afraid of how it would be perceived. I didn't want backlash of negativity and harsh words.  

• But those who wait on the Lord
  Shall renew their strength;
  They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
  They shall run and not be weary,
  They shall walk and not faint.
  Isaiah 40:31

Every day I battle the same thoughts that creep into my mind. 

I think we all battle thoughts to some degree.

Today I am talking about the words that have been spoken to me to cut me down, 

to try and destroy every inch of me. Words spoken to me to control me.

It's a daily battle of words of the past and 

the words I wish to drill deep into my mind. 

Words of kindness, love and hope. 

Words that won't destroy what I have so hard to build up. 

Words that give me the strength to continue each and every day. 

Words that are of love and light. 

Recently I read an article about a famous tv Musical Large Family 

who daughters are healing from the very same thing I am still healing from. 

 Healing that is going to be a lifelong journey

 and not a just get over "it" incident. 

I remember watching this family on television and getting a gut intuition that something wasn't right. 

That something very, very sinister and awful was happening behind the scene. 

Taking me back to a feeling of a scared young girl being berated and feeling ashamed and broken. 

The gut instinct that there is more going on than being portrayed on my television screen. 

There was one scene shook me to my core that brought back the frightened little girl, 

who knew something wasn't right but was under the control of an adult to whom, 

I was told to trust and not ruin this chance for a "happy" family.  

The intuition that something really bad was about to happen and yet I was unable to stop it. 

Nor did I have the words to express what I was feeling or experiencing at the time.

In that moment as I watched this interaction between a father and a young daughter on TV, that was supposed to be innocent, my gut told me otherwise, I was taken back to my real-life nightmare. 

While nothing inappropriate was happening on the TV show, watching this young girl standing on the stage being told by her father to sing as she stood there exposed, crying afraid and scared. 

IT said more to me and took me back to a day where I stood exposed, scared, crying and afraid of what was about to happen but, in my case, 

it was horrible sinister act that I would not be able to stop or voice for years to come. 

There I stood naked, exposed and scared being told what to do by a father figure, 

knowing if I didn't do as told I would be beat. Yes, beat with either his belt, 

or most likely the electrical extension cord I stood there broken and afraid powerless to stop what was about to happen not know the words of what was happening,

but knowing my innocence was forever gone!

 As tears streamed down my own face my world shattered completely 

and that day, time and moment was etched into my brain and soul never to be forgotten. 

 

My scene wasn't innocent but cruel, demeaning and I have never gotten over that 

feeling of humiliation and shame.  

The sights, smells, and a commanding voice 

all trigger the horror of that day. 

My Gut Screamed for help, just as I saw on TV, this young girls' eyes screamed for help. 

That "innocent" scene on tv had my gut screaming this isn't what it seems something isn't right something is going on that isn't being showed on TV.  Then the words of another came into my head. 

The words that still make me doubt myself today.

"You fool, your letting your past creep in and projecting an innocent scene into something sinister." 

"You think everything, or every father/boy is out for control and worse." 

Could my past really deceive my intuition. 

That when I perceive something is wrong that it's really not or visa-versa?

 Is my woman's intuition wrong?

And just because I went through something awful doesn't give me the right,

to inject that on every father figure or male I get a bad feeling about.  

Am I really not to trust what my gut was telling me?  

Over and over again I have been told that I am foolish for my gut reactions.

 Maybe not those exact words but that is the message I got. 

Over and over again by people who I trusted I got gaslighted for saying my gut reactions out loud.

So, I silently hold them in, questioning those intuitions that deep down,

 I know are real but afraid to admit that they are right. 

So, I try and reason with my gut with words like,

" Just because I went through horrific life changing awful things,

 that I shouldn't see every "outside my box male" as awful person or potential awful person."

 Telling myself, 

That the father on the television was just parenting his young child 

to help break her out of her shell and help her grow as a performer. 

While further deep down in my gut I saw a very scared little girl standing on stage 

crying begging with her eyes for someone, anyone to help her. 

This scene broke me deep down. 

Why do I have to remember that day? 

WHY can't it just go away?  Time to stuff my emotions, feelings and instinct.

This famous family soon disappeared as their show was canceled out of blue without reason.

 I tried to ignore my gut instinct, but I knew why, I had saw it that day I watched the show.

I had saw it in those child's eyes. 

  I began to do some searching to try and ease my gut feeling and sure enough my gut was right. (Again)

 

The girls in that family and I now knew had an ugly common thread. 

An awful sinister assault had happened, and we now shared.

 In my past I let the words of a few people trying to help but it was really gaslighting, 

caused me more harmfully words for me to replay over and over in my head,

 every time my gut told me something is/was very wrong. 

 I try to ignore my gut instinct to remain silent in some situations so I wouldn't know what to say or I 

would have words said back to me, that I was being overly sensitive.

 I never wanted to hear those words again. 

I felt stupid and ashamed that I couldn't just get over "IT". 

• Proverbs 23:18 - For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off.

In my younger years, I have put myself in bad situations,  

because of those words.  I trusted males my gut told me to run from.

Afraid of being that stupid, abused girl injecting her pain on every male.  

Sometimes I avoided certain persons but mostly I didn't, only to find out my gut instinct was correct.

Yet, I've kept quiet when I should have interjected.  Guilt stills haunts me for these encounters.

I kept silent when I should have spoken up because I was that scared little girl, 

Afraid that if I spoke up, I would be ridiculed or shamed, as I had been in the past.

But worst of all I kept silent because I didn't trust myself! I didn't fully trust God's plan. 

• Romans 15:13 - May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

I had a dream that I couldn't seem to shake off. 

In this dream I had a friend that I had gut reaction that told me this person was evil.  

My gut told me I would be hurt if I continued to befriend this person. 

I however wanted to be the person who was "nice", who tried to fix things I couldn't. 

I tried not to believe that this person was a bad person. 

 I let my judgement be clouded and although my gut was screaming run away. 

I would find myself running and hitting a dead-end brick wall with people 

all around me laughing an taunting me.  

 I'd listen to this person lies and was caught in this person's web until one day 

I opened up my eyes and it hit me square in the face 

I had become this person's victim.

 I was doing what I have always do in this dream. 

I ignored all instincts put myself into a situation that was dangerous. 

I let myself believe in an evil person. I would be hurt deeply. 

Then the dream changed years later. After years of self-discovery, some counseling, 

lots of prayer and a strong belief in GOD. 

 Over time, my dream changed: 

One day before I could get hurt again by this person, I got courage, 

 I ran. I ran and I used my voice to tell the 

world about this evil person. 

I had seen the truth. Most believed me a few did not.

I started to listen to my gut instincts and began to speak up slowly. 

In my dream I began to become brave person..

When I woke up, I realized I in my real life I ignore my gut and try to be a peace giver.

I am good at stuffing emotions. Never wanting to speak up even if I know I should.  

Keeping quiet when I should speak.

 I let peoples' words hurt me over and over again even if they only spoke it 

once to me. I didn't listen to my gut afraid if I am wrong, 

I will be shamed or worse,

 if I'm right nobody will believe me.

 I keep my silent because of the past. 

I am not that brave; I have many things I wish I had done differently. 

When I do try and speak up a lot of times it is thrown back in my face. 

I get gaslighted and I feel dismissed, unheard, and not important. 

 I try and hang onto my past. I don't mean to. I don't want to remember the pain. 

But slowly through God's words and Jesus's teachings, 

I am getting stronger and becoming more of the 

person He had created me to be. 

• Romans 8:25 - But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

My takeaway:

  

I can't change the past. 

I can't change another person actions.  

I can't make the memories go away.

I can change me. 

I can change how I react to situations.

I can change my heart. 

I can trust my gut intuition.

I can learn how to speak so I am heard.

I am a strong person!

 

And while I will never get over "IT".

I have grown past it and while things still are triggers for me 

they are not intense debilitating triggers they used to be. 

Yes, I am still a jumpy person, I startle very easily,  

I am a light sleeper at night and can sleep deeply during the day. 

Do I have things I need to work on? Yes, I am a work in progress, and I am not perfect!  

Yet still, I am a child of GOD!

• Romans 12:12 - Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Road Trip 2021

Our last road trip began Oct 1 2021 and Ended Oct 18 2021.

  My brother in law Bobby, got married in Prairie du Chein WI. 

 Larry my husband was his best man and our 

granddaughter Myla was a flower girl. 

Larry Brown  and Bobby Brown

Brandie & Myla Freitas

I would like to say everything relating to the wedding went off with out drama or glitches but who are we kidding it was a 

wedding event of course there were glitches. 

But in the end Bobby and Kelly were married

and that is all that matters! 

Mr & Mrs  Brown 

Oct 9 2021 

If you haven't guessed by now I take most of my camera gear with me if we are going places where I might get a good picture at some point. My hubby know me and knows that I will say stop turn around or just stop so I can take a picture. He is well trained. Well on this road trip our oldest son Larry III did most of the driving and he was in the mind set get in the car and drive stopping only to eat, gas up, or bathroom breaks and didn't get stop MOM wants to take a picture.

 

We has planned for months to go to 

Yellowstone National Park.  

Hubby and I had been there three years prior almost to the day and saw Bears, Moose, Bison and Coyotes. 

It was warm then with it turning cold 

that year but the animals were still out and about. 

 

When we left Prairie du Chien it was pouring rain 

and it got colder the farther west we went. 

Then we hit a snow storm. It was the first snow of the season and we saw semi's and other vehicles that slid off the road. The Rockies were turning a beautiful fresh white color.  By the time we got close to 

West Yellowstone to our AirBnB cabin we reserved  there was 2 inches at least on the ground. 

Yellowstone National Park is amazing 

show of Gods creative beautiful work.

 

From Old Faithful to the hot steaming pools, to just being in the Rocky Mountains, the scenery is a photographers playground. 

Old Faithful

 

 The two photos above are Yellowstone's National Parks Sapphire Pool.  

The pool is extremely hot and clear and deep.  

Signs warn people not to leave the pathway or test the waters. 

It is always a vibrant blue color and every time I have seen it I am at awe.

 I am reminded of how Gods creations are perfect.

There are several different hot pools in this area all within feet of each other. The pools are created by God and each pool has it's own footprint and the colors vary due to the minerals in the water. 

 

God is a master artist who created beauty when He created the Earth. 

Each thing God created is unique in that nothing is the same,

 there is always a slight difference somewhere. 

A person only needs to drive through Yellowstone National Park 

to see the beauty God has created.  It is a very beautiful place and while we were there a two weeks ago (Oct 13 2021) it wasn't too crowed and very peaceful.

I love to take photo's of wild animals. Yellowstone is home to many

 and they don't run away when a car stops to take pictures.  

I had to drill into my sons head that if there was an animal 

he was to stop so I could take pictures. Even if it is a coyote. 

This coyote was eating a pesky Raven just outside of Old Faithful parking lot near the new bridge the park is building. We later saw another one with it's dinner in its mouth running down 

the center of the road unfortunately

 I was quick enough to get its photo.

My son wasn't thrilled with me. It was a coyote after all LOL!!

There is an unwritten thing In Yellowstone 

if you see an animal you stop or maybe its my rule. 

Even if the sign says no stopping in road way or shoulder.  

If you see a group of cars stopped you can 

almost guarantee an animal is around so stopping is a must.

 (Mom's rule) 

On the second day of Yellowstone we saw a herd of elk on a hillside.  

The next two pictures of the elk were not photoshopped. The background is all Gods doing. It was a cold and darkish day. Just over the hill was a hot pool or hot spring and the steam rising and dark sky 

made for a perfect background. 

The Bison were on the move during our visit 

and we saw many groups of them. 

Some were so close to our vehicle we could touch them but we didn't. 

We saw lots of Elk also. 

    Fun Fact Bison sound like Lions Roaring when "talking to each other".

The link below will take you to my Facebook page to a video I posted of the Bison

(https://www.facebook.com/1515151000/videos/227528449437009/)

These next photo's Larry, my hubby took! I was sitting in the back seat 

and didn't have a clear view of the elk. 

Why Yes that is a Bull Elk!!! Good Eye Hun!

Some other hot pools and scenery from Yellowstone National Park 

Larry JR and Larry III

Leaving West Yellowstone Montana for Idaho we saw wild Sheep. 

Many of them were not in a hurry to get out of the roadway.

 

Good Bye Rockies Till Next Time

Every step and road traveled reminded me of How Great God Is. 

Every turn, every mile, God's work is visible for all to see 

and not just on road trips but in everyday life.  

God makes Himself known to all who seek after him. 

Ephesians 1:18-19 NLT: I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the wonderful future He has promised to those He called. I want you to realize what a rich and glorious inheritance He has given to his people.

Before I renewed my heart to Jesus as my Lord and Savior in the mid 1990's, I was walking through a dark time in my life. I was suffering from major depression and was suicidal.  During my second hospital stay for the depression I had an epiphany, a soul awaken.  I got down on my knees and prayed for God to show me Himself to me.  I repented and again truly excepted Christ as my Lord and Savior and sought out God's truly amazing love He has for All!  I began to read my Bible again and began to truly understand Gods purpose in my life. 

During this time I renewed my passion for music, and photography and while it would be years before I got my first DSLR camera my point and shoots aided me and new way to see God in everyday life.  

Life is never easy and hard times are a given.  But God by our side makes the journey with us and will guide us through it if we seek Him out and ask Him for that guidance. 

 

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33 KJV)

If you don't know Jesus as your Lord and Savior reach out to me or your local pastor.  IF you don't have a bible you can google bible passages or saying or seach and read the whole Bible for that matter on the internet these days. There are apps you can down load on your smart phone. You can look up Bible verses in any/many different versions of the Bible. I prefer the King James Version because that is what I grew up with and I use New Life Translation occasionally as a study guide.  

Remember above all else God loves You.  He wants you to seek Him and will lead you to the perfect source for you.  

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

(Revelation 3:20 KJV)

Thank you for joining along on my road trip journey. May God guide you and bless you!  

Debbi

PS: All Photo's in this blog post is the Property of Debbi and Larry (Jr) Brown.  Use of any photo on this blog without permission is illegal.

Other peoples photo's are acknowledged and credited to the owner of the photo, and are used through public domain sites. IF a photo I use is not public domain, and not one I own I sincerely apologize and will remove it upon notification. Sincerely Debbi 

Email: TaxiMom1999@yahoo.com 

It has been a hot minute since I have published a blog post here.

And by hot minute I mean since 2016!! 

2016!??

 Story Time

Covid-19 2020 

 From Oregon to Iowa and back and to Idaho and Back several times during the pandemic 

lock down and not getting sick on any of the trips. 

So Lets talk Covid-19

March 2020 Lock Down Began in OR and other states soon followed.  Fast Forward to May 2020

.................................    May 2020 we took a road trip to Iowa for a Funeral/Celebration of Life. 

July and Aug we were in Idaho waiting the birth of our grandson who was born Aug 1 2020. Spent a lot of time with our granddaughter who was about to turn 2 and the new baby.   All this during lock down. 

We were so careful and diligent with hand sanitizers, masks and disinfecting everything we needed to.  We remained Covid-19 free until Nov 2020.  Hubby tested positive. I was having a saliva gland infection since the beginning of October 2020 that wasn't responding to meds when I got my first Covid-19 test the first part of November. It wasn't back yet when I ended up in the hospital. (because of the saliva gland infection.) I ended up in the emergancy department in Madras Oregon I couldn't take the pain in my jaw anymore and the infection was worse then ever. The hospital emergancy department did the rapid test and I was Covid-19 positive three hours later my first test came back positive which was about 5 days prior to the rapid test.  I started out at my local small hospital and then transferred by ambulance to Bend Oregon to the reginal Covid-19 Hospital just in case my health declined.  

                            November 1 2020                                ED Bend Oregon November 7 2020

I was Covid-19 symptom free, I could taste, smell,  no cough just my normal occasional hoarseness. The odds were against me from the get go.  I had been taking immune suppressants daily for years and get an infusions that suppresses my immune system even more. I also have the early stages of coronary artery disease so I take a blood thinner and two cholesterol medications daily. And since I have a rare autoimmune disease Behcet's,  well lets just say I am the poster child for underlying conditions that kill most Covid-19 patients.  

At this time only the right side of my face was my issue. It was swollen by my right ear and it was very sore to open and close my jaw because the infection was so large.  I was on IV antibiotics and steroids for the gland infection for three whole days and looking forward to being able to go home. Three days they told me and I then could go home with either IV or oral medications. 

Day three, I was so excited I was going home!!! They just needed a chest X-ray because a nurse thought she heard crackling in my left lung. I found this out after the x-ray. It was when my infectious disease doctor came in my and told me I wasn't going home for at least 4 more days, that I had Covid-19 Pneumonia and the treatment normally would take 5 days at least if not longer but since I already were on the IV steroids that they could possibly let me go home in four more days as long as the treatment works. (That would make my hospital stay a week awhole 7 days) I was devastated. I wanted to see my husband, pets and my adult son who can be a pain but nope  it wasn't to be.

I missed my home. Hubby by this time had cooperated, and was no longer quarantined.  But I wasn't allowed visitors yet.  It was a very lonely and isolating time.  The only people I saw were hospital staff. Very lonely!  

Flowers From Hubby

I didn't cry in front of the doctor. I felt like everything was against me and I was trapped until started to feel nauseous and proceeded to throw up over the side rail of my bed just as everyone was trying to gete me one of them puke bags. I just missed the doctors crocks by a short millimeter because the doc has good refluxes. (Yes crocks them spongy, plasticky, holey cheep looking kids shoe. His were grey that day.)

I laid back and said in a very snarky mad voice, well I guess I am staying for sure now. Feeling defeted and even more alone.   After the nurse came in got me cleaned up, the bedding changed and fresh,  drugged up with more steroids, antibiotics and then the IV Covid-19 Biological drug, Benadryl, pain meds, and anti-puke meds, a new IV sight cause my veins don't like IV drips I finally allowed myself a cry.     

Since I was already in the hospital the staff caught the pneumonia at the early stages and treatment protocol worked quickly and I didn't get extremely sick. I had to stop all my immune suppressant medications and infusion in October, which means my immune system had kick into over drive.  The meds from that alone took a huge toll on my liver then add the Covid-19 pneumonia protocol and my liver and kidney's took a huge hit not to mention that now my lungs were fighting the Covid-19 virus.  But now I am also in a full Behcet's Flair.  

I had ulcers upstairs and down stairs. My gut which was irritated because my liver was very angry is now dealing with the effects I get with a Behcet's flair. My Face hurt, mouth hurt, my gut hurt, my bum hurt. Hydromorphone became a need even if it made me so itchy I wanted to tear my skin off. Benadryl does little to help with the itching.

While I give the hospital nurses and staff my kudo's God had a huge huge part in my healing.  My faith kept me strong and it was God's healing hands that healed me.  

On Day 4 of my hospital stay they moved me to the Covid-19 wing which was starting to get busy.  

I hurt, I was lonely, and now the room I had that felt safe to me was gone. I now moved to an isolated area of the hospital. I didn't want to admit I was sick enough to be in the hospital but on Day 4 I felt weak and sick. Day 4 I got to see my husband in person.  Facetime is wonderful just not the same it lifted my spirits to know he was ok and I got to hug him.   

Day 5 I prayed that I could leave on day 7, and that was the goal to be well enough to discharged on Day 7 of 

Day 5 my stay hubby came and saw me again.  Blood Ox levels dipped a little during the night so by now I had on again off again oxygen. I was determined not to let this set back get to me.  

My lungs were responding to treatment and not getting any worse, my saliva gland swelling was starting to go down.  The steroids' weren't helping much at this point. but I pressed on and prayed and did online bible study to pass the time.  I watched a lot of  videos on my phone inspirational stories, and watch funny Tic Toks.  

Day 6 lost my taste and smell senses, I panicked.  I prayed that I wasn't getting worse, blood tests were off the charts and by now they have used most of my viable veins up.  I blew Iv's 2s a day.  I was beginning to look like I was beat up. I was being stuck with needs 3 to 4 times a day trying to keep the Iv's flowing.  

Hubby was allowed to come up and see me again and I was exhausted, wore out and now my lungs hurt.  I was scared I was getting worse but I fought on.  Tomorrow was Day 7 my goal day.  Nov 14 the day I wanted to leave the hospital.  My goal day. I didn't get my hopes up though, by the end of Day 6 I felt defeated. I was totally wore out. I again reached out to God and prayed (begged Him) to heal me enough that I could go home tomorrow.  I haven't slept more then 2 hours at a time. Pain and worry tried to take hold but God was there whispering "I got this,  your safe and will things will get better. I love you my child I got you!"  

Thank You God for your loving constant love. Thank you for teaching me to listen to your still small voice and training me to hear truths and to tune out the devils lies.

Flowers and Teddy Bear from my Sister in Law and Niece! 

 Believe me the devil was throwing everything at me trying to get my faith to waiver. The devil was trying to taking me back down a dark and dangerous road through a black tunnel that was depression. I kept the faith block the negative and gravitated and clung on to Gods words even more.  

Day 6 was so taxing and tiring. 

Day 7

 In the hospital there is no such thing as sleep and all I wanted to do was go home curl up in my own bed with my fuzzy blanket, be with my family my pets and sleep undisturbed for hours on end.  I knew though that the chances I would be discharged were in God's hands test results and the finial four IV's had to be done before the doctor would release me. 

2am: bag 1 and steroids are started IV blew new IV an hour later and the drip started. 4am blood tests and time for bag 2.  IV failed again. found another vein in a awkward sight but I prayed it would last the last 2 infusions.  10 am bag 3 the IV holding for now. 1pm was the final IV scheduled the IV had to last until then.  Labs came back and Liver numbers didn't go up which was good and kidney numbers came down. Chest sounds clearer then the day before and my blood ox hadn't gone below 90 since yesterday morning. Things were starting to get better.  Then I get the news my heart is acting up because my potassium levels had dropped. So at 1pm they added potassium pills with what I hoped would be my last IV of this hospital stay in goes the last biological drug and steroids. 

Please God let my vein hold till this IV is over. Please let my next set of blood work be stable enough for me to go home.  Most importantly though God thank you for keeping me safe and healing me so far.  I will continue to sing your praises Father no matter the outcome today. Father God you are in control! Thank You Amen. 

Sunrise November 14 2020

1:30pm the doctor came in and said the words I was praying for.  "You can go home."  But if you have any sign of breathing issues or plus ox goes below 90 or get I fever over 101f. You have to come back to the hospital immediately it could be life or death for you. Happy dance I was going home. Thank You Father GOD! Called Hubby who was already on his way. I was sooo thankful. 

Packed and Ready to go!!

During my 7 day stay I had so many different staff attending to me. They were always gowned and masked and so I had a hard time recognizing each one from day to day.  I hope I was always cheerful and polite around them, I hope my joking around helped ease the pressure they were under day in and day out and I hope I brought a smile to them even at feeling my worse.  I am grateful for each and every staff member who cared for me during my stay.  And even though I was a hard stick I appreciate the diligence to keep me as comfortable as possible throughout my stay. 

The drugs they sent me home on were astronomical.  Morning Noon and Bedtime I took lots of pills everyday for the next 14 days, antibiotics, steroids, potassium, Vit B complex. Vit C, cough medicine, magic mouth wash,  stuff for the liver, sleep and whatnot wholly cow, there was a lot of meds. I didn't care I was going home.

    Morning Meds

At home I slowly regained my physical strength.  I was strong enough by Thanksgiving that I cook the main traditional turkey meal for my husband, and son all by self.  my saliva gland took another whole month to heal with another strong antibiotic and my liver is still trying to recover today.  Kidney's are great and my lungs have some scaring but 98% healed.  

I stayed off my immune suppressant medication till the Mid December and slowly reintroduced it back to my system before Christmas I was starting to feel normal again! 

I praise God everyday that I survived Covid-19. 

With Covid-19 came so unexpected side effects or lingering issues. My hair thinned out really bad. At first I thought it was due to the immune suppressants but learned it was Covid-19 related. 

My Voice is gone most of the time and by gone I mean I am so hoarse that 98% of the time only a whisper comes out.  My doctors can't figure out why I am so hoarse and really tired of trying to find a cure.

 I miss being able to sing and talk on the phone. 

           I try and not get frustrated that people ask me to speak up or repeat myself.  

 I try and not feel ashamed of my situation when people back away thinking

 I am sick with Covid-19

I am just dealing with the issue day by day. I pray I can talk normally again but for now it is what it is.  

Romans 15:5. “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had.”

I struggle with the lack of energy and endurance a lot of the time. It's improving slowly but it is still a struggle. 

And finialy I have to be extremely careful when I leave the safety of my house. Although I have had the virus, and I am fully vaccinated I am still at high risk to get Covid-19 again. My immune system is suppressed which leaves me at risk to get Covid-19 again. Now that the Delta variant is now out of control I am isolating myself even more then I did before I got Covid-19. 

But I will continue to Rejoice in the Lord. 

  

Thank You to everyone on the front lines of this pandemic. I pray for your health, safety, mental health, endurance and faith during this time of unknowns. May God protect you and your families. Stay Safe, Stay Strong!!! 

THANK YOU! 

If you are struggling right now. Please know you are not alone. 

I know days can be dark and lonely. 

They can be scary and uncertain I know I walk this path. 

Please take note:

God will provide you with hope strength and healing!

Reach out to God, He See's you, He Hears your Cries. 

Give yourself permission to cry if you need to cry.   

Tears can be and are very healing! 

It's Ok to not be OK!!! 

Reach out to someone anyone ME even.  You don't have to be alone.

Things in our world are really scary but we don't have to be afraid. 

God has this. He has concurred all evil already. There is always HOPE!

Bible Verse Pictures that were used from CountryLiving.com

And are not my creations.  

The other photo's are mine. 

@Covid19

@GetVaccinated 

@Covid19IsReal

@Isurvived 

@GodisReal