June 17, 2010

Reflections of the Past!




Have you ever been a victim of a crime?  Ever testified against someone?
 I have twice two many. 


The last case destroyed a friendship, and many families.   I remember giving a statement to the accused just before he was given his sentence.  I told him that I had forgiven him, that he now had a chance to get the help that he needed.  I was more bitter and angry at his parents because they knew what their son had done in the past and ignored my pleas and kid pleas.


What I wish I said to that teenage boy is:  This doesn't have to ruin you life forever. You have a chance to learn from your mistake and make good happen from it.  God still loves you and will forgive you if you embrace His gift.  But I didn't, I couldn't because I really hadn't come to that place and other parents at that time where helping drive my anger and resentment towards this family.


The friendship lost hurts a lot even now. 
This family had two older girls that I love dearly, they help entertain my three young kids and help me around my house. 
They were a joy and inspiration.  I admired the family for sticking to their churches dress code in a modern world and
 I love how simple they tried to live. 


This family wasn't perfect. and there were somethings that really bothered me about how they acted when folks didn't embrace their churches beliefs.  But then again they were human born to fallen man
and had faults just like the rest of us.


I keep thinking that if the mom approached me in a loving spirit instead of the judgemental spirit that came across when she gave me advice I would understood the bibles teachings I now embrace a little sooner then I did.  Then I am reminded that all things are in God's timing.


I see one of this family's girls around town.  And I just want to go up to her and tell her what a beautiful woman she turned into and that no matter what happened between our two families I still love her and hope that she still embraces Gods plan for her life.  

I see that she no longer adheres to the teachings of her parents church, but that is OK!   I just want her to have a joyful spirit that comes from
 God's love and close walk with Him. 


I understand God calls each of us to a different place and calls us on different journeys in life. IT amazes me that I have embraced some of this families churches dress codes now and the daughter I see has left them behind. It is like we traded places.


And just as judgemental as that mom came across to me
how judgemental did I come across to her??  
 I remember a conversation that went something like this: 


Me: Why do the girls and you only wear dresses or skirts? 
The Mom: Because in Duet. It says that woman who wear t
hat which pertaining to  men is a disgrace to God it disgust him! 
(said with attitude)  Me: So my jeans I buy in the woman's section disgust God (asked with attitude)  doesn't God love all of us so
why does he care what I wear?
The Mom: If He didn't care then there wouldn't be the bible verses telling
us how we should dress!   
The conversation goes on like this.



I had a very similar conversation with my own daughter, but I had a softer spirit. And I wasn't so defensive, but I was on the side of this mom this time.   I quoted the scriptures to my daughter you the Duet. one the Proverbs 31, Titus 2, 1 Corth. 11 all the scriptures that support my way of dress or should I say God's calling in my life.


My daughter used all the same arguments I used to use on this mom. She didn't get my way of thinking and her spirit didn't come across as a loving gentle kind of spirit in which she was defending her ways.  But God did use her words because they did plant that seed in my heart.  I still don't agree with all their church at that time preached but I did walk away with seeds that were planted and that grew. 

 Had those words been spoken in a different tone, had my words been spoken in a different tone ......... Maybe those seeds would of produced a positive result a little sooner.   I learned to have a softer heart and when my daughter and I had that particular conversation my words and heart were kinder and gentler.....

If I only said those words to that boy in court ..........


Oh the would of, could of and should of (s), of our past --------


We can not change the past. We can not take back words or actions we can learn and grow from them. We can ask for forgiveness and grow closer to God. We can go to those folks from our pasts and tell them how wrong we were with a loving spirit and heart.  Telling them how we truly have grown in wisdom and grace and that we still love them!  We can change the future!


Sincerely
Debbi

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